Use a condom

As I cruised down 3rd Ave past Greek Cuisina, one of Portland's trashier clubs, I see a thin, blonde girl waving me down. She looks like your average downtown Portland clubber, and she's very drunk.
"Take me to Dirty," she slurs "and if my lesbian girlfriend tries to stop you, just keep going."
I laugh weakly "ok.." Suddenly, her friend, a brunette, comes running across the street.
"Laura!" she screams "get the fuck out of that cab or I'm never fucking talking to you again!"
"Yeah, right," Laura says.
"I mean it!" The brunette continues to scream. I'm not really sure what to do, so I just sit in front, half facing them and not moving.
Laura touches my back and says "pedal, pedal," but her friend is still screaming so I don't move at all.
"I'll never take any of your phone calls, I'll never answer your e-mails, nothing! We're going home, Laura!"
"I want to go the next club!" Laura screams back at her.
They continue for a couple more minutes while I try to decide what to do. Finally, after Laura feeblely tells me to pedal again, I start moving. Her friend backs away with a look of extreme anger and anguish.
"Oh, fucking fine, that's how it's going to be! Fine!" she shouts as we ride away.
Laura slumps back in the seat as we move toward the club. "I'm in AA," she tells me. "I'm an alcoholic and I'm waaaaasted."
"Oh..." I say with a nervous laugh. I suddenly feel like I know exactly why her friend was so upset, and exactly why her friend will forgive her next week. She's probably done this a hundred times, probably tried so hard to stop, but she just can't. "Uh, are you and your friend okay?"
"She's in lesbian love with me. She calls me every morning. She's obsessed with me. And I'm in love with this guy! I don't fucking care anymore. I don't fucking care."
"Is she your best friend?" I ask.
She sighs loudly. "Yeah," she says "yeah."
"You should try and make up with her," I tell her gently.
"You're right." We round the corner onto the block that Dirty Nightclub is on. She's on her cell phone with the man she's meeting and tells him she'll be there in a second. She snaps it shut and continues complaining about her friend. "She's sleeping with a married man, too. It's so fucked! I'm not fucking doing that."
We arrive at the club and she stumbles towards the man she was coming to see, who is clearly as drunk as she is. I ask her for ten bucks, and she hands me five before telling the man to give me some more. He protests that he never carries cash and I wave her off. "It's ok," I say and start riding away. As I turn the corner I shout "stay safe! Use a condom!"